Last week marked the 10 year anniversary of the tragic passing of John F. Kennedy Jr. This death would not have made such an impression on me (as I am not a Kennedy family fan) except for the fact that exactly one week later my life was touched by an untimely death.
I remember getting out of bed the morning after JFK jr's accident and turning on the tv to discover that his plane had gone down in the Atlantic Ocean killing all 3 people on board. I will never forget it because on July 24, 1999 (one week later) I was awakened by a friend's knock on the door with awful news that our friend Mark Baxter had died suddenly the night before.
On the surface these two men were very different in their lives. One was forced to live his life for all to see, the other led a quiet life with family, friends and a job he loved.
Ten years later, with age and wisdom, I see some similarities in these two men that I never saw before. Neither of them wanted to be in the spotlight. JFK jr. chose to work behind the scenes with a team of people instead of cashing in on his family name and good looks. Mark was a good sturdy guy that was sure enough of himself to let others be the center of attention. They were both perfect, but flawed men. Years after their deaths, many may want to make them larger than life and pure. It's natural for us to only remember the good things. It takes time in the grieving process to see the real human being in the ghost. In Mark's case we love him all the more for it.
I believe if they were still with us they would have done simple, but beautiful things for a great number of people. I won't try to presume what JFK jr. might be doing with his life at this time. And though I have thought about it, I shouldn't try to assume what Mark would be doing now either. One thing I feel certain about, his friends would be by his side. After Mark died some of those that missed him too much to bear left town. The rest of us stayed; some still spend time together, some do not.
Personally, I took time not only to grieve for someone that I cared for very much, but to take stock of what was truly important to me. To this day, when I'm contemplating a decision, I think of Mark's death & ask myself if it is really where I should be. Life is short and I don't want to waste time. Mark taught me, through example and wonderful conversation, that when you are true to yourself you will be surrounded with true friends. As the years have passed, I've have learned to be my true self and eliminate unhealthy situations and people from my life. I am now surrounded by a beautiful family, friends and husband.
The tragic end of your life changed the course of mine. I miss you and love you.
